How Single Mothers can Keep Better Relationships with their Kids
If you ask how difficult parenting is for every couple, they will undoubtedly say that being a parent is not a walk in the park.
The role and responsibility of a parent does not end when the children become an adult. This role is a life-altering experience that will change your life forever. Yes, parenting is fulfilling, but you cannot deny that it is challenging, especially for many single parents — and it does not matter if it is a single dad or single mothers.
If parenting is difficult for two people, imagine how it is for single mothers. There are instances where moms are left with no choice but to take care of their children alone. Single parenting is nothing short of heroic, and all single moms who raise their children well deserve the utmost respect.
The Difficulty of Being a Single Mother
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), there are around 14 million single parents in the Philippines. If a single mother has a newborn baby, it would cost around PHP 15,000 each month to cater to the baby’s needs. These costs include food, vitamins, baby wipes, clothes, vaccinations, childcare, and seeking a pediatrician’s advice on a regular basis
On the other hand, the more difficult part of becoming a single mom is having and maintaining a healthy relationship with your kids as they gradually grow up. Here are some smart parenting tips for single parents to follow and practice to establish a good emotional connection with your children.
How do Single Mothers and Kids have a Healthy Relationship
Shower your Kids with Love
Being a single mom is a demanding role. You juggle countless responsibilities, from work and ensuring financial stability to childcare and home maintenance. But amidst the busy schedule, one thing remains crucial: showing your children how much you love them.
It’s important to understand that love isn’t about filling a void left by another parent. It’s about spending time with them as you are building a strong, secure bond with your kids. While material things can be nice, they’re fleeting. The real value lies in the everyday moments of connection.
Words of Affirmation and Warm Expressions
Busy parents don’t always have hours to spare. But the power of gentle, loving words goes a long way. Tell your kids “I love you” often, and mean it.
Express your pride in their accomplishments, both big and small. Offer words of encouragement that could boost their courage and self-esteem when they face challenges. Warm eye contact and a sincere smile can speak volumes and has countless benefits to your relationship.
Quality Time
Sure, scheduling dedicated activities is excellent. But quality time doesn’t require elaborate plans. It’s about being present when you are with your children. It’s about balance. Put away your phone and truly listen to their stories. Engage in their games, even just for a few minutes.
Make bedtime snuggles a nightly ritual. These small moments of focused connection create a foundation of love and security. You will find that this can actually reduce stress for both you and your kids.
Listen to your Children
While you provide everything your children need, navigating emotional well-being can sometimes feel overwhelming in child-rearing. The key lies in open communication – creating a safe space where your children feel heard, understood, and validated.
Communication goes far beyond simply hearing words. It’s about truly being present and engaged with your child. As mentioned above, put down your phone, make eye contact, and actively listen.
Licensed therapist Esther Perel emphasizes the importance of “radical listening” – giving your child your full attention without interrupting or offering solutions immediately.
The Power of Being Heard
Sometimes, children just need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated” or “I understand why you might be upset” go a long way.
Make them a Priority
As a single mom, it is essential to get your priorities straight. Your children are your top priority. All of your life decisions should be based on how it could affect them. Separation, divorce, or maybe even death of a spouse is more complicated for the children than for the single mother. What you can do is have their best interests in mind and ensure that these incidents do not lead to more anxiety. Move on for their sake.
It would be best if you treat your children as an inspiration to reach your goals. For instance, you can always think of them to improve your career.
And for their future, you should consider managing your finances and investments. Investments like a house and a lot from the best real estate developers like Camella in the Philippines can benefit them in the long run.
Take Care of Yourself
Being a single parent is a beautiful act of love and resilience. While your children are undoubtedly a top priority, looking out for yourself is crucial. Here’s the truth: taking care of your own needs isn’t selfish; it’s the foundation for a thriving single-parent family.
You are the only person your kids can rely on, the rock, the lighthouse, and the unwavering source of love and support for them. But what happens when the rock gets worn down? When the lighthouse flickers? When the well of love starts to run dry? Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
This means that you should not stress yourself that much, and you deserve a break as well. As a single mother, you want to be healthy for your kids. Having eight hours of sleep, eating the right food, and exercising can help you as a single parent.
Aside from having a healthy lifestyle, these habits can improve your mood. And when you are in the right mood, you can listen to your children and love them the way they should be loved.
Talk to your Child About Separation
Separation is a difficult reality for many families, and single moms often bear the brunt of the emotional load. However, open communication with your children during this time is essential. Here’s how to navigate these challenging conversations:
Create a Safe Space for Open Dialogue
The topic of separation is understandably heartbreaking, but honest communication builds trust and understanding. Choose a calm, quiet moment when you won’t be rushed. Let your children know they can ask you anything and that their feelings are valid.
Understanding Their Perspective
Children process information differently depending on their age. Use age-appropriate language and avoid overwhelming details. Focus on the fact that the family dynamic is changing, but your love for them remains constant.
Honesty with Compassion
When answering questions about the separation, be honest but avoid blaming or bashing your ex-partner. Focus on why the relationship couldn’t work as a couple, emphasizing that it has nothing to do with them. Words like “Mommy and Daddy decided we work better as friends, not partners” are a good starting point.
Be Open to Co-Parenting
If possible, work with your ex-partner as a co-parent and develop a plan that minimizes disruption to your children’s lives. Assure them they will still have a loving relationship with both parents, even though the living situation may change.
Single Parents and Dating
Embracing Single Parenthood : Dating as a Single Mother
Everyone deserves a second chance in love, including single moms. However, integrating a new partner into your life requires careful consideration. If you plan to give someone a chance to enter your life, you should first consider their impact on your kids. Yes, second chances are beautiful, but it is your children’s well-being above all else. Don’t rush into introducing someone new simply because you crave companionship.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries
Before diving into a new relationship, take time for yourself. Focus on healing and self-discovery. Set clear boundaries about what you’re looking for in a partner and how to introduce them to your children.
Look for someone who respects your role as a single parent and embraces your children. A good partner will appreciate your family dynamic and be willing to build a positive relationship with your children over time. They shouldn’t try to replace your ex-partner but rather become a positive addition to your family.
Don’t seek a partner just to provide a father figure for your children. Find someone who complements your life, shares your values, and brings joy to your and your children’s lives.
Manage Expectations
Don’t expect instant love or a fairy-tale relationship. Introduce your children gradually, focusing on building trust and creating positive experiences together. Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination.
Communicate openly and honestly with your children. Tell them about the positive qualities of your new partner and address any concerns they may have. Reassure them that your love for them remains constant and that this new person won’t replace their other parent.
Seeking Support: It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Parenting is a journey; sometimes, seeking professional guidance can be immensely helpful. Consider consulting a family therapist who specializes in single-parent households. These professionals can offer valuable tools for communication, conflict resolution, and managing stress among family members.
Remember, single moms, open communication is the foundation for a strong and healthy relationship with your children. By actively listening, practicing empathy, and validating your child’s feelings, you create a safe space where they can thrive emotionally.
A Home with Your Family
Single-parent families are unique and powerful units built on love, resilience, and unwavering dedication. While a traditional two-parent structure may exist in some families, a mother and her children can create a loving and secure home that fosters a thriving environment.
As a single mom, you strive to provide a safe and nurturing environment where they can learn, play, and grow into confident individuals. Finding the right community can significantly enhance your family’s life.
Your home is your sanctuary, and Camella communities are designed to nurture that feeling. The Philippines’ largest home developer has a beautiful Mediterranean-inspired setting where your children can explore green spaces, make friends in play areas, and create lasting memories. Knowing they’re safe with 24/7 security allows you to relax and enjoy precious moments together.
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